Fuck Feelings...What's Real..

. I say it all the time to my friends and loved ones:

Separate how you feel from what's real..

I feel like I want to try again..

I feel like I miss us..

I feel that I'll never find someone else like him (not that I'm looking.. trust and believe me, I'm not)

All this emotion--feel this, feel that.. tha fuck?!!!

In reality..

I get bored and restless..

In reality...

I'll ponder..mind will wander..

In reality...

I'll want to stray (starting to think I'm a commitment-phobe)

In reality...

I'll be agitated and aggravated...irritated..

SO..

I must maintain control..

I must keep forward..

I must grind and do for self..

Become thine own lover.. confidant.. best friend.. partner..

Become thine own personal something..

I'm slowly removing myself from the endless and unhealthy cycle of placing my happiness and sanity in others and material shit.. and focus on ME..

Self-preservation.. Minding my OWN business.. #Literally

It gets no realer..

Focus on my well being.. education.. getting out of debt (which isn't a lot-- 10Gs..most are student loans and medical bills, no credit cards!) .. and most importantly, back on my own 2..

Everybody stumbles a little.. myself included..

After all.. that is the point of it all.. to get back to where I was-- only better..wiser..more patient.

Prove to myself that I still got it in me for me..

I always come through for others, now it's time for me to come through for me and separate how i feel.. from whats real..