Complacency
. i've gotten too comfortable. too complacent with my life and the way things are.. i've been at my current job for 6 months.. not a bad thing, i know a lot of ppl who would kill for a job.. but.. that job.. entails too much work for the menial dollars they pay me every week. yea the benefits are excellent. but thats the only reason, besides a menial weekly check, that i've stayed for so long.
that complacency and comfort scares me. i'm a natural hustler by nature, used to working by myself and creating my paycheck. the perk of being an independent contractor. i'd love nothing more than to go back to that freedom. work when i need to, make as much money as i need to and go about my business..
business.. there is a word i'm too familiar with . i've had so many ideas that don't get past the writing stage.. i wanted (and still want to) open a daycare center, a day spa, specialty retail store and a bar/lounge. i see voids here in memphis for quality businesses such as these.
true, we have plenty of the above, but they all fall short. i'm convinced that MINE won't.
then there are my creative interests, such as writing, photography, food, etc... i feel all over the place, there is so much i WANT to do .. i don't know where to start.. hmmm
finish my aesthetics or nail tech licensing so i can open my day spa?
find investors and SILENT partners to back the opening of a bar/lounge, daycare, specialty retail store?
i really need to pinpoint one and throw all my passion into it.. but which 1 first?
fuck if i know.. i'm rambling, getting these thoughts off my mind..
then i later say to myself "find some doctor's notes and go to work tomorrow"..
and the thought that immediately follows is "fml (*fuck my life*) ..
i didnt have this worry when i was in independent contractor.. i just did as i pleased and took it day by day.. the closer i get the 25 the more i panic..
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